I don’t understand oat milk. I’ve never met an oat with tits.
I let Jesus take the wheel but ended up at a crossroads.
Groundhog Day means six more weeks of winter. Ground Beef Week means we’re eating like kings.
Now, is it sad? Of course. But the problem lies within people being concerned about her... more than they pay attention to you.
You’ll want to remember this before you charge into your first big gun battle with Dmitri the Razor’s anonymous henchmen and make your pain theirs.
When I heard I would be given the honor of introducing tonight’s penultimate speaker, you could imagine my excitement.
I remember when you nervously called your ‘rents at your first “real party” because someone offered you a sip of Mike’s Hard Lemonade.
I Didn’t Kill Jillian, Per Se, But I Am Indirectly Responsible for Her Death and While It Haunts Me, I Am Still a Redeemable Character
A salad? After Labor Day? I don’t think so. I passed the salad place and said to myself, “Not today. Today is Tuesday. Tacos.”
Henry has been doing our newsletter since 1986. He’s a little set in his ways, but we love him.
I don’t understand oat milk. I’ve never met an oat with tits.
I let Jesus take the wheel but ended up at a crossroads.
Groundhog Day means six more weeks of winter. Ground Beef Week means we’re eating like kings.
Please donate to give this very solidly upper-middle-class couple their dream honeymoon. These kids (they’re 34) deserve the best.
People of all nations, races, and creeds forgot their differences and grabbed hands with, randomly, my middle school gym teacher. But it totally felt normal that she was there, if that makes any sense?
We dispatch a man with a plastic bag (full of loose Arizona iced teas) to stare at her so hard she gets the dry sweats.
If your therapist asks you whether Jason is your father, calmly explain that he’s your college friend’s old roommate.
Please donate to give this very solidly upper-middle-class couple their dream honeymoon. These kids (they’re 34) deserve the best.
People of all nations, races, and creeds forgot their differences and grabbed hands with, randomly, my middle school gym teacher. But it totally felt normal that she was there, if that makes any sense?
Mr. Jensen has not won eight gold medals in curling. In fact, it’s unclear whether or not Mr. Jensen has even seen curling before.